vernalized: notxam: shortformblog: Awesome: Obama writes absence note for fifth-grader Missing school to see the president? Be sure you get one of these. Ryan Sullivan, an employee at a Honeywell plant in Minnesota, got the chance to introduce Barack Obama Friday, which led to his fifth-grade son, Tyler, missing school. Fortunately, Barack came though with this. Awesome. (thanks HyperVocal, which is also on Tumblr) I think I’m in love with the President. me too

theonewhowandersabout:

hookerboobs:

holy fucking crap

WOW!

cocobeforeyouchangemychanel: morbidguise: thatfunnyblog: gurl imma have to call you back fucking dead. Same.

cindyiswindy:

kaffyhahaxiao:

Die die die dieeeeeeeeeee

Oh hell nawww..

lolol

youjustinspiredme: Dear everyone who doubted money grew on trees sincerely you never saw this: O_OFollow HIM he is looking for a tumblr girlfriend and boyfriendHe wants to be nice to them and make them famous  He is choosing out of only new followers
amethystarcher: drunkartie: nom-chompsky: kyssthis16: kit-kat-o-graham: alcoholicgifts: merlinsbearddd: dionthesocialist: yeezysdisciple: hamburgerjack: ai-yo: sooolondon: yeezysdisciple: cherishherthoughts: There is no “U” in Freedom. Its called English and not American for a reason. Get with the U America   Exactly!!!!!! And this is a biscuit and this is jelly and these are called crisps Get it right You’re all freaks. We rebeled for a reason. yall wasn’t talking all that shit when we whooped that ass back in the 1700’s step to us one more gin see don’t we do it again.  Don’t forget who had your back during WWII. Literally my fave thing about the USA is how we said “fuck your redcoat language” when England acted stupid and made weird changes like dropping the U (and other stuff) have we all conveniently forgotten who else uses the u?
holy shit i love this
  • ‎1950's lyrics: Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For, my darling, I love you, and I always will.
  • 1960's lyrics: When the girl in your arms is the girl in your heart, then you've got everything.
  • 1970's lyrics: I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world.
  • 2012 lyrics: Almost drowned in her pussy so I swam to her butt.
  • me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing